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The Hurt Feelings Report form is a tongue-in-cheek tool designed for individuals to document instances when their feelings have been hurt. It serves to provide a humorous outlet for expressing grievances while seeking sympathy from others. If you feel the need to share your experience, consider filling out the form by clicking the button below.

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The Hurt Feelings Report form serves as a unique tool for individuals seeking to express and document their emotional grievances. This form is designed to be submitted directly to a law enforcement officer, ensuring that complaints are taken seriously. It collects essential information about the individual, referred to as the "whiner," including personal details such as name, age, and the nature of the emotional distress experienced. The form also prompts users to describe the incident that caused their hurt feelings, including the date, time, and location of the comments made. Additionally, it inquires whether any witnesses were present and how long the individual felt the need to express their feelings. A section on injury allows the whiner to indicate the specifics of their emotional pain, such as whether they required a tissue for tears or if they believe they sustained permanent feeling damage. The form concludes with a narrative section where users can elaborate on their experience and a series of authentication steps for verification. While the tone may seem lighthearted, the underlying message emphasizes the importance of emotional well-being and the department's commitment to addressing concerns, even if they stem from perceived minor grievances.

Sample - Hurt Feelings Report Form

HURT FEELINGS REPORT

To use this form, it must be physically placed in the hands of any Law Enforcement Officer

DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974

AUTHORITY: PRINCIPAL PURPOSE:

ROUTINE USES:

DISCLOSURE:

S USC 301, Departmental Regulation, 10 USC 3013 and a log of other regulations too To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings

Whiners should use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares

Disclosure is voluntary, however, repeated whining may lead to your file being stamped "candy ass" or some other appropriate term

PART I - ADMINISTRATIVE DATA

A. WHINER'S NAME (Last, First, MI)

B. WHINER'S AGE

C. WHINER'S SEX

D. DATE OF REPORT

E. TYPE OF WHINE USED

F. NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM

PART II - INCIDENT REPORT

A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT

B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS

C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL COMMENTS

D. WAS ANYONE SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER (Please include paid witnesses)

E. NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS

F. HOW LONG DID YOU WHINE

G. WHICH FEELINGS WERE HURT

PART III - INJURY

(Circle all that apply)


1. WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO?					2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE?
LEFT	RIGHT		BOTH		YES	NO	MAYBE
3. DID YOU REQUIRE A "TISSUE" FOR TEARS?					4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?
YES	NO	MULTIPLE			YES	NO	MAYBE
		PART IV - REASON FOR			FILING THIS REPORT
				(Mark all that apply)
	I am thin skinned			The Dept needs to fix my problems		Two beers is not enough
	I am a wimp			My feelings are easily hurt		My hands should be in my pockets
	I have woman / man-like hormones			I didn't sign up for this		I was not offered a tissue
	I am a crybaby			I was told that I am not a hero		Someone requested a tissue
	I want my mommy			The weather is too cold		All of the above and more

NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared)

PART V - AUTHENTICATION

A. PRINTED REPORTER NAME (if you wish to be labeled too)

B. SIGNATURE (are you sure about this?)

C. PRINTED WHINER NAME (you really are going out on a limb here) D. SIGNATURE OF WHINER (you have got to be shitting me!)

We, as the Dept, take hurt feelings seriously. If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" to you ASAP. In the event a "hugger cannot be found, an EMS Team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your leg and eating their way up your candy ass. If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to prvide you with a "blankie", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire.

Document Breakdown

Fact Name	Detail
Purpose of the Form	This report is designed to assist individuals in documenting their hurt feelings, allowing them to seek sympathy from others.
Privacy Act Compliance	The form complies with the Privacy Act of 1974, ensuring that personal data is handled appropriately.
Submission Process	To be valid, the form must be physically handed to a law enforcement officer. Electronic submissions are not accepted.
Disclosure Policy	Disclosure of the information is voluntary, but repeated submissions may lead to a humorous label being placed on the file.
Emotional Support Options	The department offers supplemental support, including the possibility of dispatching a "hugger" or providing comforting items like a "blankie".

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Misconceptions

Here are some common misconceptions about the Hurt Feelings Report form, along with clarifications for each one:

It is a serious legal document. Many believe this form is a formal legal instrument, but it is intended for humor and to highlight the absurdity of overreacting to minor issues.
It can be submitted anonymously. The form requires personal information, including the name of the person filing it, making anonymity impossible.
It is taken seriously by law enforcement. While it must be handed to a law enforcement officer, the form is not treated with the same seriousness as other official reports.
It addresses real emotional trauma. The form is satirical and does not genuinely address serious emotional or psychological issues.
It provides legal recourse for hurt feelings. Submitting this form does not lead to any legal action or remedies; it is more of a comedic expression than a formal complaint.
It is meant for everyone. The form is designed to be humorous and may not resonate with all individuals, particularly those who prefer a more serious approach to emotional issues.
It guarantees sympathy. There is no assurance that anyone will take the report seriously or offer sympathy after it is submitted.
It can be used for any complaint. The form is specifically tailored for trivial grievances and is not suitable for significant issues that require formal reporting.
It is a reflection of actual policies. The content of the form is not representative of real policies or procedures within law enforcement agencies.

Understanding these misconceptions can help clarify the purpose and intent of the Hurt Feelings Report form.

Documents used along the form

When dealing with sensitive situations, several forms and documents may accompany the Hurt Feelings Report. Each of these documents serves a specific purpose and can help clarify the context of the reported incident. Below is a list of commonly used forms that may be relevant.

Incident Report Form: This form provides a detailed account of the events leading to the hurt feelings. It typically includes information about the individuals involved, the time and place of the incident, and a description of what occurred.
Witness Statement Form: This document allows individuals who witnessed the incident to provide their perspective. It can be crucial in establishing the facts and understanding the context of the situation.
Support Request Form: If the whiner feels they need additional support, this form can be filled out to request resources such as counseling or mediation services. It outlines the type of assistance needed and the urgency of the request.
Last Will and Testament Form: This important legal document allows individuals to specify how they wish their assets to be distributed upon their death, ensuring that their wishes are respected. For those ready to secure their legacy and peace of mind, txtemplate.com/last-will-and-testament-pdf-template/ is the next step.
Follow-Up Report: After an initial report is filed, a follow-up report may be necessary to document any ongoing issues or resolutions. This helps track the situation over time and ensures that appropriate actions are taken.
Feedback Form: This form allows individuals to express their thoughts on the reporting process and any support they received. It can help improve future responses to similar situations by gathering insights from those involved.
Confidentiality Agreement: In some cases, parties may be asked to sign a confidentiality agreement to protect sensitive information shared during the reporting process. This ensures that personal details remain private and are not disclosed without consent.

Each of these documents plays a role in addressing hurt feelings and ensuring that individuals feel heard and supported. Properly utilizing these forms can lead to a more thorough understanding of the situation and help foster a more empathetic environment.